Your audience is not a room of wolves

The remarkable thing about preparation is that it not only raises the professionalism of a speaker, it also makes the speaker’s fear evaporate. Preparation conquers fear leading up to the speech, and preparation transforms that fear into energy and passion.

What is Public Speaking Fear?

When a speaker takes the stage in front of the audience, he may appear confident, but almost certainly he suffers one or more symptoms of fear. He may have butterflies in his stomach, or cold, sweaty hands, a racing heart, or shortness of breath. These symptoms are the result of chemicals in the bloodstream, the chemicals of fear.

Deep in his brain’s subconscious, an automatic response triggered the chemicals preparing the body for fight or flight. His brain’s ancient programming considers the audience to be a threat, because it sees the audience as a room of predators. The speaker’s brain would give the same response if he stepped into a room full of wolves.

Fear of public speaking can be exacerbated if the speaker spends too much time dwelling on the feelings he is experiencing, and worries about the event going wrong, the audience’s opinion of him, or making a mistake during the presentation. All the time he is worrying and imagining negative scenarios is wasted, and worse, is feeding the deep mechanisms of the brain, preparing it to send out more torrents of fear juice, as the presentation approaches.

How to Conquer the Fear

Preparation gives a speech a professional finish, and removes the wrinkles, errors and tongue tangles. It also provides the speaker with focus. When the brain has a focus, it can’t dwell on the negative possibilities, the worries and imagined scenarios. Indeed, the speaker concentrates on all the phases of speech making; idea generation, research, construction, practice and rehearsal. Each phase of the preparation process is a positive step, moving the speaker closer to the ultimate goal, a successful presentation. Without thoughts of disaster, with the positive sensation of construction and achievement as the speech comes together, preparation overwhelms the negative thoughts, the seeds from which fear is grown.

But on the day of the speech, standing and looking at the audience, before she goes on to speak, those deep, dark automatic responses will trigger. They come, not because of negative thoughts, but simply because the brain has seen a room full of predators, carnivorous eyes staring hungrily at the unprotected speaker at the front of the room. That the predators are hungry for knowledge, not meat, is irrelevant to the protective brain. The fight or flight chemicals flood the speakers body. Her heart races, her breath becomes short, and her palms sweaty. Her brain has readied her to run, should that audience attack.

The fight or flight chemicals actually have a multitude of uses in the body. Adrenaline, one of the main chemicals of fear, is also a chemical of excitement, passion and energy. Adrenaline is a natural stimulant. Thanks to his comprehensive preparation, the speaker can be confident that he knows his stuff, and won’t be distracted by uncomfortable butterflies in his stomach.

Keeping his focus firmly on the opening of his speech, he’ll be able to walk out in front of the audience, confidently. The butterflies can’t prevent him from walking straight, upright, with every appearance of confidence. Thanks to his comprehensive preparation, he’ll remember his words, converting his shortness of breath into dramatic pauses that add to the speech. Thanks to his comprehensive preparation, he can change his grimace into a welcoming smile, change his sweating palms into open, enthusiastic gesture, change the fear into passion.

Preparation Takes the Focus Off Failure, and Transforms Fear

Right from the moment the idea of a speech is formed, there is the potential for crippling fear. But by keeping the focus on preparation, speakers can avoid the negative imagination, the baseless worries, and the destructive emotions. By extensive preparation, speakers can get right up to the stage, and transform the fight or flight response into confidence, passion and warmth. Prepation conquers fear.

Narcissism causes you to focus on your own fear

Speaking in public is scary. It causes a real reaction in your body, the fight or flight response, that results in adrenaline surging through your arteries, sweat breaking out on your forehead, and your heart rate peaking. Often when you’re in the grip of a fight or flight response, your brain stops functioning normally, and all you can think of is yourself, and how to get out of the speech you’re about to give.

But aren’t you being just a little selfish? There’s a room of interesting, curious people waiting for you, and you want to break a promise you made them, because you’re scared. And what are you scared of? Those same interesting, curious people out in the audience.

I’ve written about how avoiding narcissism can make you the centre of attention. If you avoid narcissism, you might also be a little less afraid as well. You can only feel fear when your attention is focused on yourself, when you are in a selfish mindset. You are wondering about your body reaction, wondering what the audience thinks about you, wondering if you’ll be judged well.

When you direct your attention out into the audience, you won’t feel your fear. Instead, you’ll be seeing things from their point of view. Never say to yourself, “I’m afraid”. Just turn your attention and energy out into the audience. As you become attentive to the audience’s point of view, you’ll understand their mood, curiosity and interest. You’ll be able to respond to that curiosity and interest by delivering the information and value only you can give.

Understanding the audience mood is the key to delivering dynamic, energising presentations that will leave them thinking, talking, and understanding your message. If you’re feeling stage fright, try being less selfish. See things from the audience point of view, and your fear will fade into the background.

Narcissism drains the energy of your audience.

As speakers, we all have an element of narcissism in our presentations. We are there at the front of the room, the focus of attention, controlling the show, getting everything to go our own way. The paradox of public speaking is that while it seems to be a self-serving activity, it’s not. Narcissism is the worst attribute a speaker can display.

It’s a sticky trap, but narcissism in public speaking is a deadly method of losing an audience. It’s about energy. We give and receive energy all the time. But when a narcissist takes the stage, they simply take energy. All of it. They hijack the conversation, turning every story into something about them. Listening to a narcissist speak is like standing near a black hole, watching your energy drain into it, never to return.

An audience comes to receive. It might be knowledge, entertainment, or inspiration, but they want to receive something from the speaker. If you are a speaker who avoids the sticky web of narcissism, you must give energy instead of taking it. Your speech will be all about the audience. Their life, their situation, the fulfilment of their wants and needs. You’ll avoid the word I and instead use you, or we.

If you finish your speech and you’re drained of energy, then you’ve given your audience the energy it craved. If you finish your speech and the people in the audience are sitting on their chairs like discarded rubber glovers, then you might want to re-evaluate your style of speaking.

The best way to hold someone’s attention is to give them energy, to talk about them and their interests. Cut out the me, me, me attitude and become passionate about your audience. If you do, you’ll stay the centre of attention.

Gesture and body language make up 70% of your communication

In a darkened, hushed auditorium, somewhere in the world, there is an expert walking out on stage. She’s presenting on a topic she knows well, to an audience keen to learn what she has to share. Yet, the first thing she does when she reached the lectern is to adjust her jacket, to tug and twitch everything back into place. Then she stands with her hands clasped in front of her, shuffles her feet and rocks back and forth. Her hunched shoulders make her voice muffled, and with every moment, she seems to shrink, getting smaller…

She looks awkward and uncomfortable, and the audience soon starts to mirror her feeling. No one wins from this presentation.

When your audience first watch you walk on stage, they are already forming an opinion of you, and your presentation. Throughout your speech, your audience will revise that opinion, deciding if you are smart, confident, trustworthy, or interesting. They form these opinions, not by listening, but by watching your every movement.

If you have practised your speech, and you know your topic area well, you can still make your audience think you are unprepared, or ignorant, simply by the way you move. There are certain gestures and body movements that make you appear awkward, uncomfortable and nervous. If you can consciously control these movements, even if you are nervous, then the audience, and you, will really pick up in energy and the information can start to flow.

Here are three movements that make you appear awkward and uncomforable:

1. Adjusting your clothing on stage. Have a moment in the restroom to check your appearance in the mirror, then leave yourself alone. Your tie, your jacket, and your blouse all look great, and the audience doesn’t want to watch you getting dressed.
2. Crossing your arms over your body. This makes you appear closed and shielded. It can also interfere with microphones and your voice and breathing. There are many variations of this, from folded arms to the fig leaf, but all give the impression of discomfort.
3. Standing with your hands in your pockets. This hunches your shoulders, and messes your suit. It is the ideal posture to adopt if you want to look like a sulky teenager. When your hands are in your pockets, you also have the chance to distract the audience by jingling the coins and keys you keep in there.

Gesture and body language can make up over 70% of the message we send to the audience. If you are awre of the way you move, you can make sure the right message is being transmitted.

Old Running Shoes

About six months ago, I started an exercise campaign to get myself back into some semblance of fitness. I don’t enjoy exercise. It is just one of those unpleasant, necessary, time-consuming activities.

I have noticed that my speaking and communication skills have improved the fitter I have become. I guess this is logical, as most of the flaws in my speaking style are a result of the fight or flight response I get as the fear kicks in before the presentation. Because I’m now fitter, my body can handle the physiological symptoms much easier, and the effects show much less obviously.

Breath

The most noticeable benefit has been on my breathing. The cardio exercise I’ve been doing has increased the capacity and efficiency of my lungs. On stage, I now take slower, deeper breaths. This gets more oxygen to my brain, and I find I can think and talk clearly.

Heart Rate

With every exercise session, I feel like my heart couldn’t beat faster, but all the vigorous star jumps have resulted in a strong heart. Now, as I go up to the stage, and my body starts the fight or flight response, my heart beat stays pretty steady. This probably isn’t noticeable from the audience, but I feel considerably more confident when my heart isn’t racing.

Efficiency

Exercise makes your muscles more efficient. This means that as the blood pressure rises and the muscles tense under the adrenaline push, they stay cooler. What am I saying? I don’t sweat and I don’t flush. Both these responses are clear indicators of nerves to the audience, so eliminating them is brilliant.

Posture

Improving my core strength has resulted in a noticable improvement in how I hold myself. Gone are the slouched shoulders and collapsing tummy. My stronger torso gives me the ability to stand up, tall and confident. If I look it, I am it.

Energy

For some reason, the exercise is making me more energetic rather than less. I don’t understand how this works, but the more energy I burn, the more I get. This makes me feel dynamic and passionate on the stage. I’m moving about more, using bigger gestures, and having fun.

Stamina

I have more energy, and it lasts longer. I have a greater stamina – I can do an hour long presentation at work, take questions, and still feel like I’ve got more. This is a big change for me, as I used to be thoroughly milked after a big day like that.

Thinking

The most interesting benefit of my fitness has only come recently, as I’ve found time to get away from the guided class and step out for a run on my own. The meditative pounding of feet on path leaves me with a very personal space to reflect, plan, and mentally rehearse presentations. People don’t talk to me when I’m running. I tell myself this is because I’m too fast, but it’s probably because I look like I may collapse if I stop. No one wants that on their conscience.

I started exercising simply to prevent my body from becoming even more potato like. But the benefits of  a vigorous physical training regime have really helped my communication. I still can’t claim I enjoy exercise, but it is a part of my routine now, and the thinking time, the energy and the stamina are all too valuable to lose. Is it time for you to dust off your running shoes?

Anna Corrs and John Murray, together

Last month, my wife and I went along to operatic recital from husband-and-wife singers John Murray and Anna Corrs. These two world-class performers live locally, but it was my first chance to actually see and hear them live. The recital, part of the season program from Tauranga Musica, was composed of favourites of the performers, a variety of operatic pieces by composers from different periods and languages.

A Deeply Engaging Performance

Watching these two experienced artists perform works which were familiar yet foreign was deeply engaging. I was astonished that complex emotions — tenderness, frustration, lust, and anger — could be so convincingly conveyed without a word of English. Murray and Corrs made use of gesture, vocal variety and voice projection to build drama, display emotion and free themselves of giving a boring, static performance.

Murray and Corrs both used gesture to maximise the impact of their emotive delivery and convey more context around the story each song told. Because they are professional singers and dramatists, I expected the big movements of stage performance. But those movements play a valuable role that I find easy to forget as a communicator; not everyone in the audience will sit close enough to see what I am doing with my hands. Big gestures mean that all the audience get the message. An interesting technique, I noticed the performers use was to actually move a little slower than normal, and to use the entire arm in the gesture, with open hands clearly visible all around the room. This slow, bold gesturing style gave the singers are very graceful appearance, almost like ballet dancers, without the leaping (or the tights).

Often in a recital, the performers remain predominantly in one location on the stage, captured by the podium and microphone or transfixed by the audience gaze. Murray and Corrs showed how effective it was to move around the

Anna Corrs and John Murray, apart

stage, singing without notes or amplification, and appearing totally comfortable dramatising the little stories in front of the audience. As they moved about the stage, interacting with each other, the singers really demonstrated the intention of each piece. As with their hand gestures, they kept the movement slow, bold and graceful. In one piece, they started with an angry stance back to back, and finished with a tender (audience appropriate) embrace. The stance and the positioning on the stage really drove the momentum and pacing of the story.

What Can We Learn?

As communicators presenting less ambitious themes and stories than those on the operatic stage, what can we learn from watching professional singers on stage? We can take away three lessons.

Use Generous Open Gestures

First, use generous open gestures and be willing to move around the stage. Use a powerful voice so that you are not tied down by the microphone. Your gestures and movements are then free to use up your entire stage giving the presentation enjoyable presence.

Move And Speak Slowly

Second, move and speak slowly. During a presentation it is harder to get your message across. You need to move at the pace the audience can understand you. That pace will be slower than you think, so move slowly.

Be Emotional

Thirdly, don’t be afraid to be emotional. You audience will never be more emotional than you. Every presentation that you give should pack a powerful emotional message. This helps you to get your point across and makes your story much more memorable.

I’ve learned three valuable lessons from singers John Murray and Anna Corrs – Use big gestures, move slowly, and be emotional. Now, I just need to learn to sing in Italian.

Rubber Duck

Some people, such as Havi Brooks, are fortunate enough to have been tamed by a rubber duck. Some people might never consider the value of taming a rubber duck. Some of us try to tame our own rubber duck.

Why would we want to? The benefits are not immediately obvious, but like many things in life the real pleasure is in the doing, not the done. Taming, according to Antoine St. Exupery, is not much practiced these days. In his book The Little Prince, he says ”One only understands the thing one tames. Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things ready-made at the shops, but there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship.”

To tame something is to make a friend of heart. Taming operates both ways, resulting in a mutual amplification of joy. The tamed and the tamer eventually become indistinguishable. Try watching dog owners on the beach and see if you can tell if the dog or the owner is having more fun, if the dog or the owner is in charge.

Taming something gives you the chance to truly know that thing with your heart, to expand two souls with joy, to engage in magical ritual. But why tame a rubber duck?

Rubber ducks have an astonishing character, a view of the world that is both innocent and yet imbued with the wisdom of a stoic philosopher. Whatever happens to a rubber duck it endures, with a warm smile and a friendly sparklingly eye, yet a duck spends most of its time just waiting for the next bath. Such a worldview is invaluable, definitely worth sharing in our own lives.

How does one tame a rubber duck? Like any life enhancing process, it takes time, repetition, ritual. Naturally, we must be present with our duck, not interacting, just sitting quietly, glancing toward it, rather than gazing. Over time, we will know the duck, and the duck will know us. Baths will become more than just washing, they become a chance to commune with a friend. And when you feel loss as you leave the duck, when the duck smiles at you with the warm sadness of the Mona Lisa, you know that you have tamed the duck, and the duck has tamed you.