How to Look Awkward and Uncomfortable When Presenting

In a darkened, hushed auditorium, somewhere in the world, there is an expert walking out on stage. She’s presenting on a topic she knows well, to an audience keen to learn what she has to share. Yet, the first thing she does when she reached the lectern is to adjust her jacket, to tug and twitch everything back into place. Then she stands with her hands clasped in front of her, shuffles her feet and rocks back and forth. Her hunched shoulders make her voice muffled, and with every moment, she seems to shrink, getting smaller…

She looks awkward and uncomfortable, and the audience soon starts to mirror her feeling. No one wins from this presentation.

When your audience first watch you walk on stage, they are already forming an opinion of you, and your presentation. Throughout your speech, your audience will revise that opinion, deciding if you are smart, confident, trustworthy, or interesting. They form these opinions, not by listening, but by watching your every movement.

If you have practised your speech, and you know your topic area well, you can still make your audience think you are unprepared, or ignorant, simply by the way you move. There are certain gestures and body movements that make you appear awkward, uncomfortable and nervous. If you can consciously control these movements, even if you are nervous, then the audience, and you, will really pick up in energy and the information can start to flow.

Here are three movements that make you appear awkward and uncomforable:

1. Adjusting your clothing on stage. Have a moment in the restroom to check your appearance in the mirror, then leave yourself alone. Your tie, your jacket, and your blouse all look great, and the audience doesn’t want to watch you getting dressed.
2. Crossing your arms over your body. This makes you appear closed and shielded. It can also interfere with microphones and your voice and breathing. There are many variations of this, from folded arms to the fig leaf, but all give the impression of discomfort.
3. Standing with your hands in your pockets. This hunches your shoulders, and messes your suit. It is the ideal posture to adopt if you want to look like a sulky teenager. When your hands are in your pockets, you also have the chance to distract the audience by jingling the coins and keys you keep in there.

Gesture and body language can make up over 70% of the message we send to the audience. If you are awre of the way you move, you can make sure the right message is being transmitted.

Ben Wilson wrote this post from his small room in his small house near the ocean. If you enjoyed this, you might like to sign up for his free communication tips. The newsletter also has less talking in third person.

Cool Gentlemen With Guns

I had a sudden urge to draw men with guns. I don’t think this is any passive aggressive manifestation of stress or anger. I think, sometimes, men with guns can be cool. Perhaps it’s Freudian. But I’m pleased with the noir look of these pen and ink sketches.

Ben Wilson wrote this post from his small room in his small house near the ocean. If you enjoyed this, you might like to sign up for his free communication tips. The newsletter also has less talking in third person.

7 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Communication Skill

About six months ago, I started an exercise campaign to get myself back into some semblance of fitness. I don’t enjoy exercise. It is just one of those unpleasant, necessary, time-consuming activities.

I have noticed that my speaking and communication skills have improved the fitter I have become. I guess this is logical, as most of the flaws in my speaking style are a result of the fight or flight response I get as the fear kicks in before the presentation. Because I’m now fitter, my body can handle the physiological symptoms much easier, and the effects show much less obviously.

Breath

The most noticeable benefit has been on my breathing. The cardio exercise I’ve been doing has increased the capacity and efficiency of my lungs. On stage, I now take slower, deeper breaths. This gets more oxygen to my brain, and I find I can think and talk clearly.

Heart Rate

With every exercise session, I feel like my heart couldn’t beat faster, but all the vigorous star jumps have resulted in a strong heart. Now, as I go up to the stage, and my body starts the fight or flight response, my heart beat stays pretty steady. This probably isn’t noticeable from the audience, but I feel considerably more confident when my heart isn’t racing.

Efficiency

Exercise makes your muscles more efficient. This means that as the blood pressure rises and the muscles tense under the adrenaline push, they stay cooler. What am I saying? I don’t sweat and I don’t flush. Both these responses are clear indicators of nerves to the audience, so eliminating them is brilliant.

Posture

Improving my core strength has resulted in a noticable improvement in how I hold myself. Gone are the slouched shoulders and collapsing tummy. My stronger torso gives me the ability to stand up, tall and confident. If I look it, I am it.

Energy

For some reason, the exercise is making me more energetic rather than less. I don’t understand how this works, but the more energy I burn, the more I get. This makes me feel dynamic and passionate on the stage. I’m moving about more, using bigger gestures, and having fun.

Stamina

I have more energy, and it lasts longer. I have a greater stamina – I can do an hour long presentation at work, take questions, and still feel like I’ve got more. This is a big change for me, as I used to be thoroughly milked after a big day like that.

Thinking

The most interesting benefit of my fitness has only come recently, as I’ve found time to get away from the guided class and step out for a run on my own. The meditative pounding of feet on path leaves me with a very personal space to reflect, plan, and mentally rehearse presentations. People don’t talk to me when I’m running. I tell myself this is because I’m too fast, but it’s probably because I look like I may collapse if I stop. No one wants that on their conscience.

I started exercising simply to prevent my body from becoming even more potato like. But the benefits of  a vigorous physical training regime have really helped my communication. I still can’t claim I enjoy exercise, but it is a part of my routine now, and the thinking time, the energy and the stamina are all too valuable to lose. Is it time for you to dust off your running shoes?

Ben Wilson wrote this post from his small room in his small house near the ocean. If you enjoyed this, you might like to sign up for his free communication tips. The newsletter also has less talking in third person.

Take Your Moustache to Work Day

My favourite thing about weekends is that I let go of the daily ritual of shaving. I allow myself to grow out a little stubble. It makes me feel just a fraction more manly.

One day I may actually take my moustache to work. But really, I prefer to be clean shaved in the office. It seems somehow more streamlined.

Inappropriate Office Attire

There is a school of thought that suggests that we should prefer comfort over professionalism. I don’t think this is always true. Appropriate clothing is a costume that people can hang their first impressions on. Even before you speak, you have been categorised, and the right clothing makes sure that first impression is right.

The right clothing is different for everyone. Less and less is there a call for suit and tie, but we still can’t get away with pajamas in the day time. Sadly. Make your clothing authentic, true to you, but like any message you send, craft the authenticity so that it matches what your audience expects.

It’s hard to break that first impression. Be authentic, but respect your audience. And please, no white socks and black shoes.

Winter Carrots

Winter carrots don’t grow much. They aren’t exactly hibernating. The leafy tops still caress the winter air, a splash of vibrant green in the twilight. They simply have no desire to move in any direction, no desire to stretch out of the snug cradle of soil they have formed for themselves.

It is hard to be a carrot in the winter. Storms lash the green tops. Frost hardens around the roots. Sunshine is in short supply and the nights last forever. If only they could find the energy to grow, they would have strong roots to stretch down into the warm soil. If they could find the strength to grow, their tops would sail in the wind, spreading wide to gather in the rays of sun.

I am a winter carrot. Spring is coming, my strength is building. It is time to grow.

Spring is here. Don’t mind the thunder.

Spring is here, almost. Yesterday I saw a Monarch butterfly. And daffodils. Even though a thunder storm raged last night, there is still a little warmth, a breath of the possible in the air.

It makes me want to skip down the street. Socially inappropriate though.

The Guiding Light of a Difficult Conversation

After an fascinating conversation on Twitter with @coachbythesea (Randi Buckley), I found this phrase very compelling. We were talking about the value of empathy in difficult conversations, one of Randi’s specialities.

Randi believes that empathy decreases the fear in a difficult conversation. If you approach a conversation with compassionate intention, then you will always be able to move forward. Such intention becomes your “guiding light.” I asked Randi if some people, without a natural empathy, were always fearful of difficult conversations, but she believes that such people would actually approach the conversation armoured with facts, and so be without fear. But the conversations would not progress to a resolution smoothly, if at all. The good news is that most people can learn empathy.

The sea and shore image comes from a trip I took to Raglan on the west coast of the North Island. I embellished the view with an imaginary light house.

John Chen in Concert

John Chen in a remarkable young New Zealand pianist, who gave a concert under the Tauranga Musica program last night. It was a brilliant evening, demonstrating Chen’s technical ability and his grasp of the emotion in each piece. Notably, he played the entire program without any sheet music.

It was also the first time I have heard the new Steinway concert grand piano. At NZD292,000 it had very shiny wheels.